Breaking up is so hard to do, whether you are leaving a horrible situation or a horrible situation is leaving you, either way there are coping mechanisms that I’ve learned over the years to deal with moving forward. Moving forward is important bxtches, because if you don’t move forward you don’t progress, and if you don’t progress you remain in the same spot while everyone is moving past you.
So here is my guide to keeping sanity during a break-up and moving forward:
1. Retail therapy, there is nothing like treating yourself to the finer things in life. If you are a Free Bxtch, being in a relationship probably cost you a little bit of money (you know buying each other gifts on anniversaries, birthdays, christmas etc) you are single now so why not splurge a little on yourself? Instead of that $300 dollar gift you would buy him on his birthday buy you a pair of shoes, treat yourself to a spa day.. enjoy spending money all on YOU and enjoy every ounce of it.
2. During a break-up I live by my favorite motto: Although I feel shitty on the inside, I refuse to look that way on the outside. So no matter how you may feel on the inside, there is nothing like getting dressed going out and watching all eyes on you- which is a nice way to keep a smile on your face.
3. NO BREAK-UP MUSIC. By all means cry it out, listen to Trey Songz – Heart Attack… but after those few hours of crying and letting it all out- suck it up. Put some Trina on to feel powerful and raise your self esteem, then some Jay-Z on to show that you are unstoppable again and nothing will break you, then put on some Nicki Minaj for some inspiration.
My favorite albums for dealing with a break-up
Jay-Z Kingdom Come & Blue Print 2,3
Trina – The Glamourest Life
Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday
4. Watch funny movies or TV shows. My favorite movie that kept me sane during a hard break-up when I was going thru it was ‘Two Can Play that Game’ I remember being in high school taking notes of how to get your man back. Although I don’t suggest these games, cause in the end of the movie it didn’t truly work out the way she planned…but Vivica had some good points in that movie that we may need to take note to.
When I was going through a horrible day one of my exs mom told me to watch something funny, and it would always cheer me whenever something was wrong- laughter is the cure to everything. Another break-up I went thru I watched all the seasons of ‘South Park’.. I am so thankful for the sanity that was given by that show. Also, ‘Friends’ kept me pretty sane too, I know all the episodes by heart. .
5. Surround yourself with your friends and family, during a break-up it kept me sane there’s nothing like being around friends and family that make you laugh to cheer you up.
6.Do not social network stalk. To truly get over someone you may have to delete a number and delete them from all your social network applications. Seeing someone continually after a break-up delays the process, and may lead you to go back and regress or get depressed from seeing their tweets or instagram, which may delay your progress or take steps back into the relationship. You don’t want to get stuck in an on-and-off again situation that lasts for 3 years and then you wonder why you didn’t just move on. Don’t be that person, that looks back and tries to beat a dead horse. Don’t be afraid to move forward
7. Roller coasters. Sounds crazy right? According to a study I read a few months back, roller coasters are known to relieve stress. I remember this one time I was at the state fair and I was terrified of roller coasters, until I decided to hop on one. I was walking around and, I so happened to see my ex-boyfriend whom I just broke up with that day at the fair with another girl holding hands. I walked right past them and kept my composure but I wanted to really scream, I remained calm but I really wanted to break down on the inside. That night I was no longer in fear of anything, cause I had no regard for my life that night (dramatic right? but I was just in 10th grade) so I got on the scariest ride at the fair( mind you I was at a FAIR how safe are their rides?) That scary ride was a stress reliever, it made me feel better I just let go all of my worries riding upside down and twirling around on that ride. That year I rode EVERY single ride at the fair, and until this day I love getting on rides.
8. Read a book. When all else fails, read a book to inspire you, when I was going thru a horrible break-up-(lol all of them sound horrible don’t they?) I got tired of retail therapy- you can only shop so much before it got boring, and I decided to spend my hours in Barnes & Noble. I was caught up in the astrology, relationship, biography and new-age section. To each is own, but books are fantastic because not only can you escape from your current situation but you can derive inspiration from other’s mishaps and misfortunes as well.
9. Find a hobby. Throwing yourself into something else to get your mind off things is very beneficial for getting over a break-up. I’ve joined a soccer team, took up yoga, and fitness- not to get my mind off things but to get my anger off somewhere healthy instead of in other places- such as his face, or his processions. The outcome of a hobby that keeps you fit is a fantastic body after a break-up .
10. Pursue your dreams. Fall in love with your goals, the rest will find its course. I went through a hard break-up, and decided to go to school because I had too much time on my hands while being single which led me to find my career path, and which eventually led me to start Free Bxtch Island in the end. So ladies, the best way to deal with a break-up that ensures the best outcome for you is to pursue your goals don’t be too hung up on the past or your future relationships because everything will set its course in the process.
I’ll end it on this wonderful quote by Lady Gaga, who is the Queen of Free Bxtch Island.
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.”
And remember you all are beautiful women, the future only gets better so don’t be too hung up on your past.